marlajoann's Xanga

Movin' On Up...

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 20:49:08 GMT

I'm going to come on out and say that I hate xanga. It has made my life miserable and trapped me in its clenches not allowing me to move to my new love Wordpress.com. (insert sounds of me spitting on the ground xanga walks on.)

For those who love xanga still, I am okay with that. I just warn you to never compare the greener grass on the other side because even if you want to, you can never leave xanga. There is no way to easily export a xanga blog to any other superior blog technology such as blogger, wordpress, live journal, etc. They intended it that way and are lying in some dark lair underground writhing their thumbs and shouting mwahahahaha.

I'm going to attemp to post more often (yes again for like the 87th time) at marlajoann.wordpress.com, where the sun always shines and they trust that if you ever want to leave them they have to let you go like in that Mariah Carey Butterfly song.

So long xanga troubleshooting suckas! I'm out.

Bum Rush

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 18:23:22 GMT

Typical night at my sister's house with her four kids. The two older ones were playing in their room, the three-year old was climbing on my husband like a jungle gym and the baby was screaming while my sister and I finished dinner.

The nine year old likes to set up shop for things and sell them to you. Her choice lately has been a spa. She'll sucker you for a dollar, give you a one-handed (her hands are tiny mind you) massage, maybe squirt you with some nasty perfume and send you on your way. Oh, and she likes to name them really strange, french-sounding names.

Well, my sister was losing her mind as usual, as you woud expect with that many kids, and here is the conversation that went down right there in the kitchen.

Sister - "Olivia, stop bugging us. We're talking. Go play in your room."
Niece - "Buuutttt, moooooom. I set up the spa and you guys have to come in here."
Sister - "We will in a minute. We're talking. Go play for a second."
Niece - "But mooooom. You say that everytime and you never do."

Then my sister exploded like the incredible hulk with veins coming out of her neck and yelled,

"OLIVIA! NO ONE IS GOING TO BUM RUSH THE PUSSYCAT SALON RIGHT NOW! GO!"

This is everyday life people.

Then I spit my mashed potatoes right across the table.

I've Got a Case of the Frogs

Wed, 28 May 2008 21:12:42 GMT

They are EVERYWHERE.

I wouldn't classify myself as an outdoors person, but I tried to be a good wife and plant some cute flowers in my front and back yard. It went well until about the fourth begonia. Then I was brutally ravaged by a frog that landed directly on me. Did he think I was a lilly pad? And I was all like, ewww... there is a frog on my leg, hey JOHN there is frog on my leg, JOHN! Then said frog jumped, I screamed. It was over.

Yea... no one came to my rescue. And John planted the rest of the flowers because I don't do that anymore.

The next night on our walk through the neighborhood, John stepped directly on another little guy and you could totally hear the squish.

Karma suckers!

Fun-Sized Isn't Always So Fun

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 18:59:30 GMT

Someone brought a whole basket of "fun-sized" Snickers to work today. Do you know how long it has been since I've had a Snickers?

Well, let's just say that "fun-sized" isn't quite so fun when multiple pieces join to form a "not-so-fun-size" sugar lump in your stomach.

I think I've exceeded my fun-size limit. They need a disclaimer that says, "Fun-size turns into vomit-size when consumed in mass quantities."

Ralph.

Dream Big

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 15:19:56 GMT

John repeatedly told me when I begged for a puppy that the true sign of a good dog is them being able to hold a treat on their nose until you tell them they can eat it. Then they must perfect the treat flicking until they can toss it up in the air and properly catch it in their mouth. (I know... dream big, right?)

So, to ensure that my husband finds love in his heart for my new puppy best friend, Millie and I have been working to perfect her trick. (I think he likes her, but he just doesn't act like it yet.) It quite possibly could be due to the fact that she eats his socks whenever she gets the chance and bloody baby teeth fall out of her head onto our carpet each time we give her a delicious cow ear treat. I'll admit life was more simple before Millie, but she's just so stinkin' cute. Did I mention she was CUTE?

She is just now getting stable enough to hold her nose in one place. Before, when I said stay, her body wouldn't move but her head would flail about like a bobble-head hula girl on the dash of a car, you know, kind of like Stevie Wonder. So now... we've got that part down. Her only problem is how to retrieve the treat from her snout without going cross-eyed and dropping it on the floor. (See example below.)

This clip warms my heart... Hopefully it will warm John's someday, too. He just now learned to love the cat who turned three last Saturday. I think the dog purchase made him love the cat more. But I know he sneakily gives her nice pats behind her ears.

Oh, and yes, I've become those annoying pet parents that I used to make fun of. She does not, however, sleep in my bed... yet....

Double Season Park Pass

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:31:51 GMT

Is anyone else getting an uncanny urge to go to White Water when it opens? I am. And I really want to devote my summer to a spike in my White Water attendance. I've really be lagging behind since I was about 12 years old. In fact, I'm considering paying the $65 for a Double Season Park Pass so that we'll have something to do on cooler days, too. I'm trying to convince my husband with this ever-so-compelling pro and con list.

PRO

I like water slides
We need some childlike spontaneous adventure
If we ever have kids there is no way they would ever be allowed to go there, so we should go now
We're too poor to go to a real beach this summer
My pasty skin is blinding people and I don't have a pool
No one will ever catch us there because no one else will ever go
It's one of the best people watching places on earth
The fungus in the water can't be too deadly or we would have heard more about it on the news
They have cheese fries and other fair-type food

CON

We'll be the oldest people there
Who knows what's floating in the water
It's just so not cool

Really? The choice is easy.

The Cuteness is Overwhelming

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:24:46 GMT

I'm apparently a bad aunt and I did not get pictures of Baby Ava, but the other three are holding up the cuteness factor quite well by themselves.

We had a great Easter and dyed eggs at "Aunt Lala's" house the day before, which I hope to become a new tradition. I really think my mother just passed it on to me to save her own house from multi-colored hand prints on the fridge, table, carpet, etc. Easter egg dying is by far one of my favorite traditions of any holiday. Not to mention all the hiding and finding... And a few kids may have been knocked down in a race to the eggs. Don't judge.

Sports Can Warm Your Heart

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 13:06:18 GMT

He always says he doesn't like her and that she is nothing compared to his perfect pet Louie the cat.

Apparently that all changed when Millie requested that John turn the channel to ESPN.

Exciting News, Workout Blues

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:12:58 GMT

Two topics on my mind...

1. I am so excited about Devon's announcement of a new building I can hardly stand it. I think it is an incredible boost for OKC and aids in our city's continual growth. I'm excited to live here at such a time of change. It's fun to be a part of it. If you haven't read anything about yet, there are about ten stories on newsok.com just from today and yesterday.

Another exciting tidbit is that this new skyscraper will be LEED certified. (Thanks laurendean for infusing me with your LEED knowledge hipness a couple weeks ago so I could feel cool and knowledgable when the announcement came out and I was the only one familiar with it. :) ) Anyway, I'm super excited, I love my job, and in case you haven't noticed I've apparently been drinking gallon jugs of the kool-aid.

2. As for this boot camp situation, I finally realized that the trainer's "nutrition" plan was only allowing me about 500-600 calories a day so I'm on my own healthy plan now. Apparently he's an idiot and I'm sad it took me almost passing out and experiencing narcolepsy at work to realize that he's an idiot and add up the calories myself. I was almost rockin' an Ethiopian belly and was miserable because I had no energy and got really shaky. I totally felt like DJ Tanner on Full House when she stops eating and passes out at the gym. Not to mention the EXTREME workouts. I was probably burning way more than I was eating. So he's on my idiot list. Although I do think the workouts are good and plan to continue crab walking, carrying people across soccer fields on my back, etc.

The funniest part of this bad diet realization is that I had been taking naps in the car to and from work. I didn't think anything of it until I showed up at boot camp and two girls from my work started laughing and asked, "So did you have a good nap on the way home?" Pretty embarrasing. Apparently they say I had my cheek smooshed up against the window.

And that's just sad.

Screaming Armpits, Knees, Toes and Elbows

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 17:08:54 GMT

I haven't done a crab walk since I was about 8 years old in gym class.

Last night I had to do it up a hill. And it wasn't a small hill. Take that hill, throw in a litte partner wheelbarrow action with a girl I don't know, lunges, 60 push-ups, step-ups, jumping jacks, bicep curls, bear crawls, forced sprinting, jogging and who knows what else, and you get a cocktail of soreness and misery. Not to mention the crabiness I'm exhibiting already that comes from eating nothing but fruit and protein shakes for the last three days.

I'm not a happy girl. Welcome to boot camp.